Let’s talk about cloaks. Yes, cloaks. You know, those long-and-dramatic-yet-epically-useful creations of heavy fabric. I’m here to tell you that cloaks are awesome.
“Why so awesome?” you may ask. Go ahead and ask…I’ll wait.
I’ve waited long enough. Let me just go ahead and tell you why.
Cloaks are awesome because they are.
Imagine this: You walk into a room. No, scratch that—you glide into a room. Your cloak billows behind you and you wear not only the cloak, but a confident-and-smug-yet-humble look on your face. People turn. They gasp. They whisper, “Who is that incredibly stylish and slightly mysterious person?” It’s you. Because you made the excellent decision to wear a cloak.
Also—bonus points if you can time your entrance with a gust of wind.
And, as far as exits, there is nothing more satisfying than dramatically swishing your cloak as you turn to leave. It adds extra flair to any conversation, or end of one. Imagine that someone says something mildly annoying to you, and instead of thinking of a clever comeback, you just swish your cloak and walk away. Instant victory. No words needed.
In addition, most clothes have pockets generally too small for normal needs—if they even have pockets at all. Hats? Nope—no pockets. Socks? Not really. But a cloak? A cloak—made the right way—is basically one giant pocket. You can carry so many items in there. Snacks? Yes. A whole mealful of semi-tart, sardine-encrusted, pickled cauliflower? Absolutely. A small, cooperative skrat? Well, cooperation is of the utmost importance and you’ll need to ask the skrat first.
Weather is conquered: Cold? Cloak. Raining? Cloak. Too sunny? Cloak. Unexpected snowstorm? Guess who’s prepared and looking fabulous? You.
And finally, to wrap this up…
(Wrap this up…cloak…that’s so good.)
Cloaks are practical. Cloaks are dramatic. Cloaks are, frankly, a necessity. The only question is: What kind of cloak-wearer will you be? The mysterious journeyer? The noble hero? The snacks-collector? Choose wisely, my friend. And remember—always go for the dramatic swish.
