Posted By Kearth on Oct 17, 2021

I wore a mask today. I wanted to sneak up on villagers and then yell, “Ahayoohoooey!” and scare them. At least surprise them, maybe befuddle them, possibly flummox them…you know. Anyway, here’s what happened:

I wanted a good disguise, so I found a small-but-slightly-larger-than-head-size barrel. It was open on one end so I tipped it upside down and put it on my head so it rested on my shoulders. I couldn’t see. So then I cut out little eye holes so I could see out—which is not very easy to do with the primitive tools I had at my disposal, I might add. I mean, I did just add. So I put the barrel on my head again and still couldn’t see. I realized that I had to turn it around until the eye holes lined up with my eyes, and then I could see. So that was good, but by then I had to take the disguise off because I couldn’t breathe.

Here’s a note to anyone who makes a mask out of a barrel: Be sure to cut out a hole so you can breathe. Preferably near your nose and mouth and not somewhere random. 

I cut out a mouth-and-nose hole and then cut out another and then on the third try I had it lined up much better with my actual mouth and nose. By then, my barrel mask had a few holes in it, but since it wasn’t raining, I was OK with that. Of course, I probably wouldn’t swim with it on, with all those holes in it, but I wasn’t planning on swimming just yet. That would be for another day. The immediate focus was on sneaking, scaring, flummoxing, and walking, not swimming.

Here’s another note to anyone who makes a mask out of a barrel: Wearing a barrel-head mask is not as easy to walk around in as you might imagine, especially, I think, because I was wearing my extra-long shoes. I tripped all too frequently and ran into trees and walls and a wagon or two and more trees and a bird and I think I knocked over four or possibly up to eight people, but finally got the hang of it.

Sneaking up on villagers was also not easy, until I eventually learned how to sneak but not trip, and did it. I snuck, and, without tripping, yelled, “Ahayoohoooey!” just the way I had practiced those two hundred and four times.

The surprisee was in this case Rol, and when I yelled at the back of his head in my barrel-head mask, he turned around and said (a little too casually and maybe pompously, I might add, and just did), “Hi, Kearth.”

With the “Ahayoohoooey!” still echoing inside the barrel, I was flummoxed by Rol’s non-surprised reaction. I mean, really flummoxed. But then he said he recognized my shoes, and I felt a little better. Less flummoxed.

Maybe a pumpkin-head mask next time. A different surprisee. And definitely, different footwear.

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